Dating in London

Be honest, how many people have you swiped right on and actually had a conversation with that didn’t end in the person asking for nudie pics? 

Welcome to dating in London, it’s awfully grim and monotonous much like the city itself. For the last 5 years I’ve been dating on and off and honestly, it sucks. I’m sure it sucks in most cities but London seems to take the cake when it comes to bad dating habits.

With a city that moves this fast, it’s no surprise the dating scene does too, in fact it moves as fast as a swipe on your screen. Left Right up down, no matter what app you’re using you’ve likely encountered every possible outcome of the newfangled way to date.

Recently a lot of my friends have gotten into relationships and when I ask how they met their significant other (for the time being) I’m usually greeted with the same response, “we met online/an app”. An app. An app for everything. I can’t remember the last time someone I know met someone else in person, in fact one of my friends accidentally followed someone on Twitter and forged a full blown relationship out of it within a span of weeks (Congrats Emily!). There’s literally an answer for every social media connection you can think of, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, quite the opposite, it’s fantastic, but there seems to be some habits that I’ve noticed cropping up with Londoners that have put me off dating severely.

Londoners have a tendency to live on a very strict routine, whether it’s getting to work or managing their personal lives, everything runs like clockwork here, no minute in wasted in the city you could never be bored in, and for that very reason dating has become almost impossible because no one has the time for it.

I work in the city and I see countless city workers having 1 hour lunch dates, squeezing every possible second out of their day, friends and co-workers tell me about their schedule and “routine” to dating and I’m baffled by the intricacies of it all. And this is where the difficulty of dating in London stems from, a lack of time, and with that lack of time comes a lack of effort, and a rotating series of lacklustre and effortless dates. No one has the time to open up their lives to someone else. The speed of London has changed the way we look at every social activity, from brunch, to dating, to sports and exercise, everything is on a specific schedule and any disruption causes massive grief, so we minimise the damage by simply not caring enough to develop anything. And this is what dating in London has become, an inconvenience.

This probably sounds like the ramblings of someone who’s just bitter and alone, and honestly, true, BUT it’s all from experience.

Take the last date I went on for example: I couldn’t organise anything for over two weeks because I had so much going on, the option to meet someone kept getting pushed further and further back until the prospect of an enjoyable date faded more and more gradually and when we finally met for a coffee, the thrill and excitement of meeting someone was no longer there. Fair enough, we may not have been the most compatible of people, however the initial spark fizzed out before we even had a chance to give it a go.

Londoners seem more preoccupied with quick and easy fixes for their needs than actually developing something real. London has the ability to make even the most positive of people jaded. So without this turning into a Carrie Bradshaw style blog post on dating, what are the things that Londoners need to do to make dating work?

Make Time
Make Effort
Don’t over filter pictures

and most importantly, be honest.

Dating Disaster #1

Everyone loves a good, bad date story and in the last 5 years I’ve racked up some fantastic ones, and this feels like the perfect opportunity to share one that fits in with the modern dating theme of this post.

Last summer I started seeing someone, lets call them T. T and I had 3 dates over August, they went well, we had a lot in common, we were both getting into blogging but we never shared our blogs to each other as we wanted to get to know each other in person and not through a screen, which I thought was cute, and went along with it. I never really had any issues with T, except for that they seemed to be on their phone a lot during our dates, I didn’t necessarily mind it but they seemed to jump on and write something every 20 minutes of so, at the time I just assumed they were responding to texts and thought nothing of it.

One evening, T forwarded me an email with a link to some music they liked and wanted me to listen to, at the bottom of their email, in their signature strip, was a link to a website, as I clicked through the links, I ended up on the site and it turned out to be T’s blog. I wanted to respect T’s privacy but lets be real, we’ve all stalked a potential partner online whilst dating them, and so I decided to read their blog. Turns out T had been “reviewing” our dates for their blog, and those “texts” were actually T taking notes on me and what I did throughout the evening. I was a little taken back by this at the time, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt, and ended up reading all three “reviews” in which everything about me, from the way I dressed, spoke, styled my hair, and the places I chose to go were ranked. Judging by the scores I received, T wasn’t all too fond of me and enjoyed picking me apart a little more than I cared for.

There was no 4th date.

I’m probably as bad T for retelling this story for content but at least I didn’t rank them…

Do you have any bad dates stories you’d like to share? Sound off in the comments below and we can all wallow in our misery together!

Andrew